Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2016 7:44:25 GMT
Remember when you were little and your parents talked about a time before they had TV? You didn’t believe them – and neither do your children when you tell them that Minecraft wasn’t around in 1972.
TV was rubbish
There were only three channels, so everybody watched the same things. The same awful, awful things.
All kids’ movies were traumatising
Honestly. Watership Down is still too frightening for those of us in our forties.
You were outside all the time
And you weren’t allowed back in until it was dark.
Everybody smoked
Even children. And the ones that didn’t munched on sweets made to look like cigarettes.
All toys were dangerous
And not just the ones that made great weapons, such as catapults and the pointy doom rockets known as Lawn Darts. Even the most innocuous items had poisonous paint.
Government safety films scared everyone shitless
Kids drowning, blowing themselves up, being thrown through car windows, being run over. All shown to traumatise kids in the name of safety.
There was no such thing as the school run
It could be 30 degrees below zero, the school could be surrounded by rabid dogs and all the paths mined. It didn’t matter. You walked to and from school every day.
Sweets were better
They really were, because they weren’t laboratory-born experiments in obesity. They were bigger, and tastier, and cost tiny amounts of money.
Football stickers were our FIFA 16
The PlayStation wouldn’t be invented for another 20 years. 20 long, long years.
Flares and tank tops were the height of fashion
No, we weren’t wearing them ironically.
Fingermouse
This was as close as we got to special effects: a bearded man with a paper mouse on his finger.
You taped the charts
In mono. On cassettes.
Adults were allowed to beat you up
Parents, teachers, policemen, random people in shops… violence against kids was actively encouraged. Corporal punishment – the cane in England, a leather strap in Scotland – wasn’t banned in British schools until the mid-80s.
Roller discos
They seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everything was lethal
Ring pulls were sharper than razor blades. Car exhausts pumped out lead. Chimneys belched poisonous smoke. Playgrounds were paved with concrete. Nobody wore seatbelts or bike helmets. It’s a miracle any of us made it.
Sea Monkeys tricked us all
The adverts in our magazine promised amazing aquatic animals that looked like fishy people. The packet contained microscopic brine shrimp. We learned that life sucks.
Phones had dials
Assuming they weren’t in phone boxes that smelled of wee.
Food was weird
Fancy a fizzy drink? Here, mix some powder in water! Fancy some dessert? Here, mix some powder in water! Fancy some mashed potatoes? Here, mix some powder in water!
Porn was printed
And often left in hedges for impressionable children to discover.
Everyone wanted a big chopper
The Raleigh Chopper, that is. The pinnacle of cool.
Britain was hot and sunny
That’s not just rose-tinted spectacles. The 70s were properly hot, and the 1976 heatwave was the hottest summer since records began. Sunscreen? Ha! Cooking oil!
There were only three channels, so everybody watched the same things. The same awful, awful things.
All kids’ movies were traumatising
Honestly. Watership Down is still too frightening for those of us in our forties.
You were outside all the time
And you weren’t allowed back in until it was dark.
Everybody smoked
Even children. And the ones that didn’t munched on sweets made to look like cigarettes.
All toys were dangerous
And not just the ones that made great weapons, such as catapults and the pointy doom rockets known as Lawn Darts. Even the most innocuous items had poisonous paint.
Government safety films scared everyone shitless
Kids drowning, blowing themselves up, being thrown through car windows, being run over. All shown to traumatise kids in the name of safety.
There was no such thing as the school run
It could be 30 degrees below zero, the school could be surrounded by rabid dogs and all the paths mined. It didn’t matter. You walked to and from school every day.
Sweets were better
They really were, because they weren’t laboratory-born experiments in obesity. They were bigger, and tastier, and cost tiny amounts of money.
Football stickers were our FIFA 16
The PlayStation wouldn’t be invented for another 20 years. 20 long, long years.
Flares and tank tops were the height of fashion
No, we weren’t wearing them ironically.
Fingermouse
This was as close as we got to special effects: a bearded man with a paper mouse on his finger.
You taped the charts
In mono. On cassettes.
Adults were allowed to beat you up
Parents, teachers, policemen, random people in shops… violence against kids was actively encouraged. Corporal punishment – the cane in England, a leather strap in Scotland – wasn’t banned in British schools until the mid-80s.
Roller discos
They seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everything was lethal
Ring pulls were sharper than razor blades. Car exhausts pumped out lead. Chimneys belched poisonous smoke. Playgrounds were paved with concrete. Nobody wore seatbelts or bike helmets. It’s a miracle any of us made it.
Sea Monkeys tricked us all
The adverts in our magazine promised amazing aquatic animals that looked like fishy people. The packet contained microscopic brine shrimp. We learned that life sucks.
Phones had dials
Assuming they weren’t in phone boxes that smelled of wee.
Food was weird
Fancy a fizzy drink? Here, mix some powder in water! Fancy some dessert? Here, mix some powder in water! Fancy some mashed potatoes? Here, mix some powder in water!
Porn was printed
And often left in hedges for impressionable children to discover.
Everyone wanted a big chopper
The Raleigh Chopper, that is. The pinnacle of cool.
Britain was hot and sunny
That’s not just rose-tinted spectacles. The 70s were properly hot, and the 1976 heatwave was the hottest summer since records began. Sunscreen? Ha! Cooking oil!
I must be old-fashined because I have always hated the term 'kids' so I have replaced 'children' throughout the above. There's a little clue in the term 'childhood' - we don't call it kidhood do we, strange... anyway here are my thoughts...
TV was rubbish
There may have only been three channels but IMO tv was way better than it is today; I'd be happy watching all the old shows again including, yes, Pebble Mill At One!
All kids’ movies were traumatising
Not sure about that. I never saw Watership Down although I did read the book. Bedknobs And Broomsticks was a favourite movie for me.
You were outside all the time
Yes, out with friends until dark and no such thing as stranger danger either.
Sweets were better
Flying saucers, candy shrimps, rhubarb and custard, cola cubes - no contest! But I thought of the Jamboree bags and so included a picture to jog memories. You got all kinds of goodies in a Jamboree or Lucky bag.
Flares and tank tops were the height of fashion
It said no, we weren't wearing them but of course we all were because it was all there was. My fashion wardrobe consisted of checked Rupert Bear style trousers, patterned lilac shirt with wings the size of a DC-7 and Jockey Juniors. I remember bomber jackets being very much in vogue for boys too.
Porn was printed
? Must be a typo. Maybe Pron, a sequal maybe to Tron?
Everyone wanted a big chopper
Yes, mine was purple. And you could hang your Parka on the back.
